10 FAQs About My New Book: The Wolf in Their Pockets

Number 9 will shock you! (jk)

Hey! My newest book The Wolf in Their Pockets: 13 Ways the Social Internet Threatens the People You Lead released just over a month ago. Thank you all so much for your kind words about it since release. Below are some common questions I’ve been asked in interviews and such. I am posting my answers here in case you’re interested!

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1.     Why do we need a book like The Wolf in Their Pockets right now?

I think a book like The Wolf in Their Pockets is an important resource for our present time because I have just heard countless stories and experiences of people who are attempting to lead, disciple, and otherwise care for people who are being influenced by social media more than they are being influenced by any other formative force in their lives. There is a massive, still kinda new, definitely sorta scary power to social media, and its constant presence in our lives—whether in our pockets or in front of our faces—is virtually unmatched.

The average American adult spends two-and-a-half hours per day using social media. The only activities we spend more than two-and-a-half hours per day doing are sleeping and working, usually. Social media’s influence is unmatched, and many of us aren’t sure how to lead and disciple amidst it.

2.     Who is The Wolf in Their Pockets written for?

This book is written for any Christian who leads or disciples other people, whether formally or informally. Obviously, because of what Jesus calls us to in the Great Commission, we should all be discipling people in some way.

But if you’re a parent, a pastor, a lay church leader, or otherwise trying to help people become more like Jesus, this book is for you. It’s for you because you likely recognize that the people you’re trying to disciple and lead are being formed by social media perhaps more than they are being formed by you. This book is meant to help you work through that.

3.     The image in the title and on the cover is a wolf in peoples’ pockets—what does that mean with regard to social media?

This is kind of funny because I just came up with the title when I was titling the proposal before I sent it around to publishers for their consideration. I didn’t really think a publisher would use it as the title as it is a bit clever, and sometimes publishers don’t like clever titles. But the image is pretty clear I think: as we try to shepherd people, part of our calling is to keep wolves away from the flocks we’ve been entrusted with leading. The problem is, I believe, the sheep are carrying wolves around in their pockets.

4.     What is the difference between this book and your previous book Terms of Service?

The main differences between Terms of Service and The Wolf in Their Pockets are wrapped up in who the books are for, and therefore, what the purpose of each book is. Terms of Service is a book written for everyone (Christian and not) who recognizes they need to look in the mirror and ask, “What is my relationship with social media and what do I do about that?” The Wolf in Their Pockets is a book written for Christian parents, pastors, and other leaders who look out among the people they care for and ask, “How is social media shaping them and what should I do about that?” Terms is a bit of a mirror meant to examine the self, whereas Wolf is a more of a magnifying glass meant to examine others so that we can better lead them.

5.     In the book, you talk about how you spoke with many pastors and other Christian leaders as you wrote—what were some of their biggest concerns about social media?

Talking with pastors and other Christian leaders was what helped me craft the table of contents for the book, really. I had some thoughts and ideas of what the book should include, but the entire book is sort of borne out of my conversations with Christian leaders who feel the pressure of social media discipling their people every day.

What’s kind of crazy is that literally every single Christian leader did mention one topic that they have run into regarding social media and leadership in the last few years, and that is the topic of conspiracy theories. I knew this was an important topic, and I had planned to address it in the book as soon as I began brainstorming it, but I did not expect every leader I spoke with to bring it up as a major concern and obstacle in their ministry. I was shocked. But it’s real, and it’s everywhere.

6.     What do you think is one of the most underestimated effects of social media on the lives of people we lead?

Man, there’s so much that could be said here because I think we ignore a lot of the ways social media affects the people we lead. But I think most of our attention goes to content, right? When we think of the people we lead using social media we most often think of things we don’t want them to be watching. We don’t want teenagers stumbling upon porn. We don’t want Boomers to fall for fake news on Facebook.

All of that is important and merits our concern. But I think one of the most overlooked aspects of all of this is what posting about our lives all the time does to us. I am deeply concerned about how posting often on social media about our lives warps how we look at our lives. In short, I think the lure to post constantly and perform makes us start to see our lives as sort of “raw material” that we may use to get people to give us attention and affection, or some hollow form of it. And I think we long for attention and affection from people on the internet because it’s cheaper and easier to get than attention and affection from people offline.

7.     Is social media all bad? Is it possible for us to have a healthy relationship with social media?

Definitely not. It is absolutely possible to have a healthy relationship with social media. I use social media myself and enjoy doing so! I find value in it. I think it’s important that we, as Christians, recognize that social media is touched by the brokenness and sin of creation just like everything else. It is not a neutral platform, or a “blank slate” that just acts as a stage for our sin.

Social media is itself bent toward sin and brokenness, and if we hope to have a healthy relationship with it, we need to take intentional steps to do so. No one stumbles into a healthy relationship with social media just by happenstance.

8.     How might this book be helpful for parents who don’t know how to parent their kids who are on social media all the time?

I think it is important for parents to know what draws their children to social media. It is very important to me as someone who has spent well over a decade working in student ministry that parents take their kids and their kids’ interests very seriously. In my experience, the most expedient way for a parent to lose connection with his or her child is to dismiss the child’s interests.

This book should help enlighten parents to what their kids find appealing about social media, and how they might disciple them amidst those lures.

9.     Social media is everywhere and it’s on all the time—how can we possibly disciple people as much as social media disciples people?

We can’t on our own. That’s the sad, honest answer. But there is hope.

Most stats say that the average American adult spends about two-and-a-half hours per day on social media. We don’t spend that much time on anything else except work, school, and sleep. But we should remember that the Holy Spirit doesn’t need the same amount of time as social media in order to compete with it. We can trust God to work through His Holy Spirit even if it means someone spends a quarter of the time they spend on social media engaged in Bible reading and prayer.

All of that said, we shouldn’t just leave it up to the Holy Spirit to work on His own. We should make concerted efforts to spend our time wisely and disciple our loved ones to spend their time wisely such that we make time to meet with God in addition to whatever scrolling we may do.

10.   What is the one idea you hope people will take away from this book?

That it is possible to lead and disciple people amid the vast, invasive influence of social media. It really is possible. But it’s going to take a lot of hard work to wrest the minds, hearts, and souls of the ones we love away from the grip of memes and videos and articles.

We must not sit on our hands and hope God figures it out. Surely He could. But we should do our part to lead people in an age in which their feeds are more influential than their friends and family often are.